A Litany Lane Alternate Universe
Nightfall Academy
Ithaca, NY
+1+
“I’m doing this because I’m your brother.” I said.
I slipped off my new professorial messenger bag and set it on the ground, I also took off my nifty herringbone cap that completed the professorial look. I could hear my bones creak as I settled underneath the Legacy Oak. It was cool underneath the tree’s thick leaves, safe from the chaos of the quad.
“I’m afraid I don’t see it that way.” Fierro said with his eyes still on his book, “And we are not brothers, Emile.”
“Well”, I corrected myself, “We’re practically brothers.”
Fierro shook his head in that way that meant he was humoring me, he pushed back his chin length colorless hair and looked out at the bustling quad. His aunt had cut his hair over the summer as a punishment, he hadn’t seemed as bothered by it as she’d expected.
“Neighbors is more like it, Emile.” He said turning the page.
Maybe neighbors was more like it. But during the hours his foster parents let him do yard work at my parent’s house, he’d spent more time at the kitchen table with me than outside. He had a quick mind and it was had been easy for my parents and I, them being two retired professors and me an aspiring academic, to see that. For the first time he could openly discuss and talk about religion and question the ideas thrust upon him
Throughout grad school whenever I came home I’d lend him my old philosophy and history text books and he’d read my writings. When I was offered a faculty position at Nightfall Academy, I gave the dean a very compelling presentation on why Nightfall Academy should offer Addison Fierro a scholarship.
His Uncle Harlon’s disability check only went so far. Fierro still had to work and send money back to home, but at least he was 134 miles away from them. When he became my student I decided I wanted to do everything I could to support his mind. And as his teacher and friend I had to do the same for his soul.
“Emile”, Fierro continued, “I know it’s your class. And while Bobby Essex is a bit pretentious I feel like he’d be a more adequate partner for me than Clara DeLune. “
“I know. You and Essex make a good team. You’d make a solid thoughtful presentation and that’s the problem. I think working with Clara DeLune would be a challenge for you. She’s smart and creative. I think she might help you think outside of the box. “
He looked back at the book he was reading, “I don’t suppose I can get you to change your mind? Clara is one of the art students and her family is one of the founding families; her grades and place in this school have been paid for. Mine are not.”
I shrugged, trying not to recall the series of meeting I’d been in with parents and deans where I was coerced into coming up with enrichment assignments on the fly just to bump up a GPA. Either way I just . . . had a good feeling about this.
“Sorry, Brother. I’m a first year teacher. It’s part of job to experiment.”
“I actually don’t think that’s your job at all.”
“You are probably right”, I said standing up, “But my class. My rules.”
+2+
Addison Fierro
Derek Locke and Clara DeLune sat comfortably at a corner table on the fourth floor east wing of the library. Her unreasonably long black hair is tied back in a bright red bow that matches her red skirt and jacket. Derek pulls at the bow and she laughs; whispers are shared between them and a few kisses. I wait for a few moments before approaching. Emile had assigned our workspace and it didn’t make sense for Derek to be here. I stepped forward and cleared my throat. They both looked up, hands still entwined.
“Clara”, I began, “I’m-‘
“Fierro, I know”, she says breaking into a smile, “We’re in the same class. I sit in the back with Eleanor, she’s so tall that she has to and I hate to leave her all alone. Oh, and Derek was just leaving.”
“Right”, Derek said, “I’ll take you on a ride in the Ferrari when you’re done, babe.”
Derek Locke like Clara came from a founding family. As he stood up to leave I noticed, as I always did, that he never seemed to carry a bag or any books around. Just a leather jacket over his uniform and the confidence of a man who could conquer the world.
“I can’t wait, D!” Clara shouted as he left, her eyes following him as he turned the corner. “His Dad got him a Ferrari for his birthday. It’s so pretty. Do you have a car?”
While she waited for me to answer she busied herself by removing brightly colored notebooks from her oversized bag. Clara DeLune drove a brand new red BMW convertible. How on Earth did I know that?
“No.”
“Really? I thought you were a—“
“A year older than everyone? Yes.”
She spilled a bag of multicolored pens on the table and considered what to say next, “Well, it’s actually really hard to get off-campus passes anyway. Not really worth it.”, she smiled again and started flipping through her books, as if she had told herself a joke.
“Right, well.” We were running short on time, “I’ve written down the basics. You don’t have to read all of it. Maybe just memorize the points on either the Yorkist or the Lancaster’s. I thought we could have a visual presentation and then present a timelin—“
“Yes, we should do that.” She cut in, “But then I thought it would be cool if we talked about the disappearance of Prince Edward and Richard, you know the heirs of the English throne who went missing? I found a ton of books on it and some people say that tower where they were supposedly locked away and murdered in is haunted. I mean it’s so sad that they just disappeared and no one knows what happened to them. They were just kids.”
She thought on it a moment before settling back and looking up at me. Her large dark eyes eager for a response.
“I… what does that have to do with the War of The Roses?” was all I managed.
“Well, when the Princes went missing it changed the power dynamic of the war which allowed their uncle to take control and allowed King Henry VII to overthrow him and restore the Tudors to power ending the--oh, look! I can see Derek’s car from the window.”
In mid-sentence she ran to the window and began waving ecstatically. Below I heard Derek lay on his car horn. Perhaps this was the issue with Clara DeLune, she was far too happy and unfocused to be an appropriate partner. I took note of the glossy fashion magazines and a worn copy of Neuromancer she’d also splayed on the table.
“Sorry”, she said settling back down, “So you know I’m in the music program and I was thinking maybe we could play some epic background music during our presentation. Like something from the time period. You should do most of the talking since you have such a nice voice but I’ll-“
“What?” it slipped out. It wasn’t very gentlemanly of me and I honestly thought I’d been hearing things.
“Um, I said you have a nice--”, No not that. She couldn’t think I’d noticed.
“Um, no.”, I interrupted her, “. . . That other things you said?”
“Oh”, Clara smiled and relaxed now under the impression I hadn’t taken note of her compliment. Even though I had. I very much had, “I’m in the music program. Concert piano. It’s a lot fun. We have mini concerts on Wednesday nights. It’s like a mini jam session, totally chill. You should come by.”
The notion. The invitation. Dare I say it struck a chord with me? I tried not to look at her as I answered.
“I’ve always wanted to play the piano. I have this memory of my mother . . . and in the background I hear…piano music.”
I fought for the memory. One of the few memories I had of my real mother. The only memory really. I’d long accepted that no one ever knew what happened to her or who she was. But I had that memory at least to prove she was real.
Clara’s bright smile faltered just a bit. She must have known I was an orphan, nothing stayed a secret in these halls for very long, “I’m practicing tomorrow if you want to try your hand at it.”
“I can’t. I have to work.” I said without thinking.
“Oh, you work? Where?”
“At the botanical warehouse down the street. The spring perennials are coming so it’s been busy.” And I needed the hours to help my Aunt and Uncle make ends meet.
“Oh, I guess that’s why you smell so earthy.”
‘I’m sorry. I-”
“I meant that . . . in a good way. Like flowers”, she nervously pulled at her hair, “Sorry. Let’s get started.”
I sat down and scattered my books next to hers. I’d read everything about the somewhat dramatic and long war in England. I had a method for presentations that had always worked very well for me, though I hated the notion of having to stand in front of a class. However I found myself curious to say the least. It wouldn’t hurt to stray for this one assignment.
“Tell me about theses princes again?” I said.
Her smile brighten and she reached for a book.
“Okay so. . .”
+++
“. . . So . . . “, Emile leaned his head into miniature den that currently served as my bedroom. The fold out couch Emile had bought second hand took up most of the space, I kept my clothes and uniform and few possessions in a trunk at the foot of the couch. It suited that everything I owned could fit neatly in a 3 foot trunk. Emile used the rest of the space as storage for his files and books. It was small, but I had more room than I did back at Aunt and Uncle’s house. For that I could be grateful.
I’d managed to wash away the dirt from my shift at the warehouse. We’d been short staffed and I’d had to stay a bit longer. It’d be worth the extra money to send back to Aunt and Uncle. I tucked only a few dollars away for myself. Emile sat himself on the other end of the bed in his Nightfall Academy faculty t-shirt and black shorts. There was no distractions, he wanted to make it very clear he was . . . listening to me.
“Clara’s not a bad partner. I judged her because of her family name and because she is friends with Derek Locke—“
“Did you know his Dad is like 70 years old? He’s going to inherit pretty soon. Also Derek and Clara aren’t friends they’re dating. I guess it became officially when the DeLunes and Lockes spent the summer together in East Hampton.”
“Emile, you’re a teacher. Should you really be prying into your students’ lives?”
“Fierro, I’m human”, he said taking off his glasses, “But she and Derek . . . they certainly go well together. Don’t you think? The junior staff has a bet that they’ll break up by--”
I turned off the light
“Good Night, Emile.”
“I’m just saying if you hear any gossip let me know. If they break up before the Spring Formal I could win five whole dollars. That’s like a bonus.”
“Go to bed Emile.”
+3+
Clara DeLune almost ran me over.
Classes had just ended and I had less than thirty minutes to get to the botanical warehouse to start my eight hour shift. Against my better judgement I’d been running across campus, Clara had driven right up to me and pulled her bright red BMW on the curb, just short of hitting me. She hoped out of her car and hugged me. I hadn’t expected it and she quickly apologized and stepped back.
“Sorry”, she said, “Guess what? We got a 100 on the project. Emile just posted the grades. Oh my God. This means I got a 4.0 GPA… Wait this was a fair grade right? I know Emile’s like your brother and I want to make sure it was fair—“
Emile just wouldn’t be happy until he started his own rumor.
“We were neighbors and Emile had a second teacher review his grading. It was well deserved Clara. The music and ghost stories seemed to captivate everyone. We did well, Clara.”
“You were really good, I mean your voice was. . . I mean you were I…” Her voice trailed off and she started twisting the ends of her hair, “You know….I never noticed your eyes have a blue-ish tint it’s-”
“You’re parked in a fire lane”, I said because she was and because I wasn’t sure I wanted to hear how that sentence ended.
“Oh”, she exclaimed and turned back to her car and for the first time noticed one wheel had settled on the red curb, “I should go, anyway I’m picking up my dress for the spring formal.”
“Are you and Derek still together”, I asked for Emile’s sake.
“Yes—why?” She looked up at me, wringing her fingers.
“I—asking for a friend.”
“Oh”, she said looking down at her black shoes, “Are you going?”
“No”, I said honestly. I hadn’t been able to afford a ticket nor did I have the social standing to ask anyone. Between work and school I’d barely had time to sleep.
“Well, thanks again.” She sad.
“It’s you I should be thanking, Clara.”
“I had fun. You’re really smart and made it kind of challenging. Hey, that piano lesson is a standing offer. Anytime you want to learn.”
I nodded as she got back into the car and drove off. I stood there for several minutes before realizing I was still late for work. I started to run again realizing it was outlandish to think I’d ever have time for anything else.
+4+
I didn’t recognize myself in the mirror. I felt like it was a version of myself I hadn’t seen in quite a long time. After two years of wearing second hand school uniforms, I’d never realized how a good suit jacket was supposed to fit.
At first I’d been afraid that Emile was capricious enough to order us the same suit, but mine was much finer in cut than his, the material softer and the colors bold but understated. He couldn’t afford a three piece suit on a teacher’s salary. It was quite a gift.
“You spent a lot of money on a suit for a dance I’m not even technically attending.” I told him.
“That’s a multi-functioning suit, you can use for college or job interviews. It’s an investment.”
Emile carefully slides a reddish colored pocket square into the vest pocket. That was a bit garish but I decided to be kind and leave it there. Though I’d rather avoid it, I turned back to the mirror.
“I still have senior year to get through and. . . I’m not going to college.” I told him knowing it would start a familiar conversation.
“Come on, Fierro. You’re brilliant. We’ll work the money thing out.”
“It’s not just that. You know the tight hold Aunt and Uncle keep on my IDs. Also they need help on the farm. I may take a year off to help them--”
“No”, Emile said as I followed him to the living room, “That’s how it starts. They say one year, then it turns into two. You are not going back to that life.”
It was a fight for another day, I went to remove the pocket square but Emile jammed it back in.
“Leave it. Let’s go chaperone a dance.” He says.
“You’re chaperoning”, I said, “I’m just your designated driver.”
“Unofficially”, Emile said with a wink.
Emile’s Fiat, a final gift from his parents, was parked on the street. Not far from the row of mismatched small one and two bedroom houses that were frequently occupied by teachers, professors and couples who wanted a scenic upstate place to call home.
Emile drove the 15 blocks to campus with music blaring from the speakers. When we arrived he parked and hopped out.
“Sure you don’t want to come in?” He asked.
“I think I’ll stay here.” I said picking up my Calculus book, “I don’t even have a ticket.”
“Have it your way.”
I left the air running in Emile’s car, ever so often catching a glimpse of classmates who were practically unrecognizable dressed in their finest. I even spotted Clara DeLune stepping out of Derek Locke’s red Ferrari, her short dress matched her car and Derek gave her roses before opening her door. A group of her friends surrounded them and they were quickly lost in the swell of people.
Emile jogged out to the car a bit later. He did smell as if he’d been drinking, but he had made it through his first year of teaching. I didn’t think to ask how teachers managed to get drunk at a Spring Formal.
“Come on, Fierro”, He said as I rolled down the window, “At least come to the crowning ceremony. Also remember what I told you about that new Biology teacher? Well I was right . . .”
Emile had told me so many things about so many teachers it was hard to keep up. Between work and school we only had a spare few hours alone in his house and he had a way of filling all but the sleeping ones with conversation. It was a nice change. I’d miss it when summer came and I’d be back in Chataqua.
I opened the car door and stepped out. I owed Emile this much for putting up with me. Clara was bound to win queen and I’d like to see that. Normally she wasn’t popular enough to merit the vote but being on Derek’s arm would change all of that. I followed Emile up the hill and he offered me his pocket flask which I hastily gave back to him.
“I’m on scholarship. I can’t get caught drinking.”
“Live a little, might give you some courage.” He took another sip and put it away.
Courage to do what?
“I can’t lose my scholarship, Emile.”
“Is that going to be your excuse why you don’t do anything fun?” Emile prodded.
He was off again acting as if my situation was normal, as if I could afford to be like the other students.
“What? Emile.” I snapped in a hushed whisper still following him into the school, “Fun like playing hooky or participating in junior prank day or drinking illegally. You’re a teacher Emile you shouldn’t be encouraging this things. You don’t get it do you Emile? I can’t lose my scholarship. This school is my only way out of the hell my life has been. If I get caught breaking just one rule I’m out. They always come after scholarship students—“
“For God sakes, Fierro you’re not on a scholarship.” He said then took another long drink. An audible silence formed between us.
“What?”
“I…damn.” he put his flask away.
“Emile, what have you done?” I couldn’t tell if I was angry or astounded by his decision making process.
“Last year when I talked to the dean about getting you a scholarship he declined. So I…I sold my parent’s house and took out some loans.”
“Emile.”
“It’s worth it. You are worth it. You deserve to be here just as much as any of those rich kids. You can pay me back when you’ve made something of yourself.”
“Emile, that’s a lot to put on me. A lot of money. “
“Then don’t pay me back. I don’t care” he said shrugging it off but he was still angry, “I’ll figure it out. I just want to see you have fun. I want to see you be happy.”“I am happy. I’ve have one of the very best friends in the world… even if he is an old man. A man who I will pay back one day. Every cent Emile.”
“Sure”, Emile said, “And I’m barley ten years older than you.”
“Age is just a number, my friend.”
Emile and I stand in the back of the gym, which has been decorated in iridescent white and gold. They began to call the winners and we watch as Derek struts on stage to take his crown. Clara is so happy for him she is crying and when they call her name for Spring Queen, she breaks into the constant smile of hers. They dance to an old song while balloons and streamers drop. Emile takes the last swig of his whiskey and I’m tempted.
I keep myself in the shadows as the dance comes to an end. The lights are turned on and the staff starts cleaning. I stay rooted to the wall and Clara walks past me, absently playing with the promise ring on her finger. I think she doesn’t see me but she stops and turns
“You’re here.” She says carefully taking me in.
“Only technically.”
She smiles at that.
“Oh, look”, she says pointing to my pocket square, “This is the same exact color of my dress, I think it’s the same fabric… did you go to Neiman’s too?’”
“It was a gift, actually. Congratulations by the way.”
“Thanks. I’m so happy… Derek is waiting for me.” She smiled and tugged at her hair.
“You should go. Be safe, Clara”
She folded her arms and narrowed her eyes, “I don’t think that’s any of your business--”
“I meant…drive safe.”
“What?”
“I mean it’s late and you’re …Derek’s car is very fast and you don’t . . . I. ...”
Her face twisted into confusion and I wasn’t entirely sure what I was saying or how I was going to finish. Thankfully Derek’s shouted Clara’s name across the hall and I didn’t have to. She waved good-bye and ran off to him.
+5+
I’d lost track of Emile, last I’d seen him he was flirting with the biology teacher. We hadn’t made a plan for this, but I’d decided to wait by the car for an hour. If he didn’t show I’d take the keys and walk back to his house.
After another half hour of waiting I left a note on the Fiat, took off my jacket and headed to the campus gates. I wasn’t the only one out walking. Clara DeLune was also pacing back and forth.
“Clara?” I called.
“Hi.”, she said.
“What are you still doing here?”
“I’m waiting for a cab to take me to Ellie’s party.”
“Is Derek okay?”
“Yeah, I think so. I think he might have done some like party drugs, but I don’t know. We fought and I think we broke up?”
“Why?”
“Just silly stuff. Um…It’s like you said his car was a little too fast for me.”
“What—oh.”
She kicked at the ground seemingly mad at herself and she, like Emile, just let it all spill out.
“Clichéd right? And my car is like… new…like super new and I kind of want to keep it that way… or whatever. At least I think so. I just . . . don’t um…know.”
I took it this wasn’t about cars.
“Right. I’m sure he’ll apologize when he’s sober”, I said.
“Huh?” She looked up surprised.
“You two have fun together. He’ll miss that and realize it might be worth . . . slowing down?
She shook her head.
“I don’t think it matters”, she took her shoes off, “I’m not sure our relationship can take long distance and Julliard is going to be a lot of work.”
“You’re applying to Julliard?”
“Well, yeah. We’ll be seniors next year. I’m working on my portfolio now. I have an audition in the fall.”
“You’ll get it.”
“Because of my family name?”
“What does your name have to do with it?”
She laughed, “You really don’t know anything about music. Look I don’t think that cab is coming, do you want to take that piano lesson now?”
I thought about the early shift I’d have tomorrow and the Calculus final I’d have to properly study for. Having a few free moments would be rarity for the coming weeks.
“Why not? Emile has abandoned me.”
She inclined her head to the Moratti Arts Campus on the west side of campus. A place I’d never needed to go.
“So…you came with Mr. Emile?” She asked as we walked in step. Her curiosity raised.
“I was his designated driver. We…live together. My scholarship didn’t cover the dorms and I have more freedom to work late hours. I’m not sure it’s allowed so…”
“Your secret is safe with me.”, she whispered.
The R.S DeLune music room was well appointed. More so than any of the classrooms I’d been in. More so than the library which was very impressive. Clara moved behind one of the numerous classic black pianos in the back of the room.
“This is an upright grand piano.” She opened the lid and began to tune it. Which sounded like a song to me. Not that I’d heard any real music until I’d moved in with Emile. “Okay, so”, Clara continued motioning for me to sit, “The black keys are your sharps and flats. Now this is middle C. I can teach you to read music later but I learned by ear,”
She took my hand and stretched it along the keys. Her hands were cool to the touch. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d touched another person’s hands. She pressed the keys along with the notes but I couldn’t quite hear what she heard.
“I don’t know if I’m cut out for this”, I said taking my hands back.
“Sure you are. It’s just late.”
“Do you know—“
“Wonderwall?”
“Oh, no. Um… Amazing Grace?”
Determined she turned back the piano and started to play. She hummed a little trying to find the right notes. She played it in a slower and deeper key than I was used to. It was nothing like the rough cloudy recording my aunt played on Saturday morning. It sounded like real music. I wasn’t sure to where to look, my eyes wandered from her hands to her bright eyes and to that signature red bow
“How was that? “, she asked.
“Thank you”, I said not comprehending what she’d asked.
Clara tried to teach me chords and to read music, I picked up a little but not enough. I wanted to laugh with her when I made my attempts to play but I didn’t know how to laugh yet.
“It's past curfew”, Clara said turning my wrist to study my watch, “I’ll get in so much trouble if I try to sneak into the dorms again.”
And scholarship or not I could not be caught on campus after hours with a founding family’s daughter.
“If we slip out the back gate we can walk to Emile’s”, I said, “He can write you an off campus pass, I should have been keeping better track of time.”
Clara puts her shoes back on and we ducked out the back gate. We walked in silence down the winding residential neighborhood that surrounded Nightfall academy. It felt insular and safe. For the first time I considered the place scenic, peaceful even. I unlocked the front door and saw Emile sitting in the kitchen waiting up for me.
“You are some wingman, Fierro I ought to—“, He stopped when he saw Clara. He started to speak but I pre-empted him.
“Emile. It’s not what you think. Clara was teaching me to play the piano and she missed curfew. Is it okay if she stays here?”
“What…but…” Emile put away his celebratory ‘post-date’ cranberry vodka and adjusted his glasses, “Uh, Miss. DeLune I can explain why Fierro lives with me, if you or any of the founding families have any concerns about my conduct I can—“
Clara smiled nervously, “I won’t tell my parents about this . . . any of this. From what I heard you are probably one of the coolest teacher at Nightfall.”
Emile loosened up a bit, but still took charge of the situation, “Clara you can take the couch. Fierro you can sleep on the floor in my room.”
Emile went off to his room and I realized he’d want to know every detail of what happened. Clara fit comfortably on the couch. I found some clean blankets and a spare pillow and set them next to her.
“Thanks”, she said.
“No problem. I had fun tonight.”
“Me too. I can’t believe Derek did the Macarena. He’s so cute when he tries but he’s such a bad dancer. Ellie was good though… I can’t believe I missed her party.” She laughed to herself and started putting her hair back.
“Is Derek really that bad?” I asked realizing her memory of this night had nothing to do with the past few hours.
“Yeah”, she bit her lip, “I mean I love Derek. Tonight felt so perfect for us.Then we got into that stupid fight. This is so silly but I imagined when Derek and I get married it will feel just like that. The two of us dancing with our best friends surrounding us. I mean my friends kind of tease me a lot because …well do you remember what you said earlier?”
“Not exactly.”
She took her time opening the water bottle Emile had set next to her.
“About Derek having a . . . fast car and me not.”
“I was—“, I stopped. I still knew she wasn’t talking about cars but I could tell she wanted to keep talking,
“Well”, she said still twisting the water bottle cap, “Some of my group think I’m trying to be special or whatever for waiting. And when we worked together I realized maybe I should try and make friends with you, because you gets what it’s like to be at this school and a v -“
Was she talking about me?
“Clara, I don’t think I’m the friend you’re looking for.”
She thought about this for a moment, ignoring the slight flush that was creeping up her neck.
“You’re not? I’m so sorry. I just assumed because everyone said you were like super religious and you’re always so focused and you never seemed to have time for people so I just assumed—“
“My uncle, despite his conviction has ideas about what it means to be a man. He
has friends his visits once a week, last summer he made me go with him. I didn’t
fight him, I felt it was better to just get it out of the way.”
I knew as soon as the words left my mouth they were prime gossip for the halls of Nightfall Academy. Why had I even told her?
“I guess… I don’t really know you at all. I’m so embarrassed. I don’t even think I know what your first name is.”
I was glad for it. I didn’t care for the name they had given me.
“I think not knowing me or my name makes easier for you to… confess things you wouldn’t to your friends. Why don’t we keep it that way, Clara?”
“Wow”, she yawned, “Good idea. Um, good night.”
“Good Night, Clara.”
+6+
I always packed my uniform at the bottom of my trunk before heading back to Chataqua for the summer. Uncle Harlon had convinced the manager at the Chataqua plastics processing plant to give me a few shifts after I finished working the farm.
I rolled my trunk behind me taking the scenic route to the train station. Emile was already gone, having rented his home out this summer while he studied abroad. I wanted to hear all about it when he came back in the fall. A horn blared behind me and I turned to see a sporty red BMW.
Clara drove up next to me and I saw Derek was in the
passenger seat. I hadn’t seen Clara since that night during Spring Formal.
She’s thanked Emile and me for our help and we’d both been so busy with final
exams we hadn’t spoken. Perhaps we’d said all we ever would to each other, which was
fine by me. I for one had said too much and after Nightfall, Clara and I weren’t
likely to see each other again. As I’d predicted Clara and Derek had quickly
gotten back together. He’d purchased her
a ring that, according to Emile was the envy of all the third year girls.
“Clara. Derek.”, I greeted them
“Hey, Fierro have fun this summer”, Clara said and then mouthed, “Thanks.”
“You too.” I said although I’d almost laughed at the idea of having “fun” this summer.
Derek pulled on the bow in her hair, she laughed at him. With a wave she hit the gas and was gone in an instant.
+++
The next year was the hardest
As a senior and a scholarship student who works part-time there are things you can’t do. You can’t become valedictorian. You don’t have time for college tours, or extracurricular or to apply for lofty schools.
You can’t undo the fights you have with your roommate and supposed best friend on what your future should be. You can’t undo the times you ignored the countless times he said the thing you can’t admit to yourself.
You are falling for Clara DeLune.
At least from a distance anyway.
A rich beautiful music prodigy who is madly in love and devoted to Derek Locke. A girl who is madly in love and devoted to her music. Falling in love is for people with time of which you have none.
We don’t’ have classes together, but I see her in the cafeteria on my way to the library to catch up on sleep, She’s always in the school paper I read while on the bus to Chataqua to help Aunt and Uncle. I occasionally see her dashing to the music building or racing Derek to his car while I’m running to catch a shift. We are always going in opposite directions. We exists in opposites.
I’m not the one she talks to when she get rejected from Julliard. Or the one who tries to cheer her up when she has to accept an offer to Rochester University. That’s Derek Locke’s job. Until it’s not.
I don’t have the time to tell her she can do better than Derek because I need to take Uncle to the hospital after a nasty fall. When I make it back to school she has several suitors and I’m racing to catch up on my studies.
Our paths collide briefly during graduation, mostly due to our last names. Mostly not.
But when graduation is over
That’s it
It’s over.
+7+
10 years later.
Nightfall Academy, Ithaca NY
Parking is impossible now that the events for the class reunion had begun. I haven't had time to focus on the reunion festivities with all the term papers that required some extra dedication on my part. Emile had offered to help, but I’d wanted to see my student’s words.
But I had forced myself to make time for this student orientation. I’d closed my classroom door so we wouldn't be interrupted. When there was a knock I wish I’d locked it.
“Emile I will be right there—“, I start.
Instead of Emile, Clara DeLune peeks in . In the ten years since graduation she had abandoned the red bow letting her dark hair run down her back. Her black pencil skirt, white blouse and red jacket mimicks her school uniform li. She looks young and bright eyed for a woman who had just finished the grueling tasks of getting a PhD.
“Hi. Emile said you’d be in your classroom. Derek gave me the keys to his Ferrari and I …what are you doing?”
“Clara, I’m just doing a quick new student orientation.”
She walks inside and considerers the new student intently reading a course catalog. Clara, without much thought, picks up the catalog and tucks it in her bag.
“Mother”, Rose says
“We have a full year before you start at Nightfall, you don’t need to plan your academic calendar now no matter what your father says.” Clara said.
“I just want her to be prepared.” I explain.
“As long as she’s not in your or Emile’s class she’ll be fine. Now can we please go on a joy ride in Derek’s car.”, Clara asks flashing the smile of hers.
“Did Derek truly give you the keys?” I ask.
“Maybe . . .”
“Clara, you can’t steal your brother’s keys”
“Brother-in-law”, she clarifies. Rolling her eyes in the way she had since she came back from their wedding. It was easy to guess why Derek Locke had married Clara’s eldest sister . . . so quickly.
“We can finish the orientation later, Rose” I tell her. After all this was her first time on campus. There was so much for her to see.
I set the orientation material aside and lead Clara and Rose out, taking the time to lock my classroom door. Outside reunion week was in full swing. Tents and booths are set up in neat rows. Alumni from all the classes are sprawled across the grounds.
This morning they had cut the ribbon on the construction site for the new dorms on the South Campus, where the botanical warehouse I’d worked at as a students used to stand. I was sorry to see it go. That place had been my refuge when I was feeling pensive.
-8-
Ten years ago I’d escaped to the botanical warehouse to work my final double shift just hours after graduation. I’d wanted to get some overtime in so I could get a head start on next month’s bills. I’d been allowed to work overnights alone, as long as the work was done by the morning.
While my classmates where celebrating graduation at dinners with their parents or at parties I was alone shoveling dirt. The future suddenly seemed so bleak. I was going back to Chataqua penniless with an expensive high school education and my aunt and uncle to contend with.
I was glad when Clara walked in or I might have let my emotions get the better of me. She’d of course been wearing a red dress and shoes underneath her graduation robes.
“Clara?”
“Emile said you’d be here”, She said, “I know we haven’t talked since last year but I’m leaving for Rochester tonight. I’m going to Elle’s house to say good-bye to everyone… and I knew you wouldn’t be there. ”
My boss, the owner of the warehouse, wouldn’t have taken kindly to Clara DeLune showing up.
“I’m heading back to Chataqua tomorrow.” I told her.
“Oh, hey how far is that from Rochester?” she asked smelling some of the perennials.
“An hour . . . maybe more.”
She nodded, “Are you going to school or—“
“It’s a correspondence school”, I said cursing myself for interrupting her. I forgot my manners around her.
“That’s cool. Well good bye, Addison.”
She said and I cringed at the sound of my given name, but
she had found it out somehow.
“Emile told you?” I asked. She nodded and smiled.
I pulled my gloves on to get back to work when I suddenly remembered something I’d seen in the damages bin. I jogged to thr bin snf sorted through the broken pots, dirt and destroyed flowers until I found a crushed potted plant. I held it out to her.
“It’s an oleander”, I explained, “The leaves are a bit crushed and the pot is broken but they are popular gifts.”
“Oh, thanks.”
Clara reached for the plant with her clean smooth untouched hands. Instead of handing her the dirty broken clay pot I set it on the table.
“There are some bags in the back.”
I took off the glove and once I’d set them on the table Clara took my right hand. Her hands were still cold, the coldest spot was where her gold and diamond class ring was. I savored the touch. Going back to Chataqua it would be a long time before I felt this simple thing again. If ever.
I don’t remember how I went from holding her hand to kissing Clara DeLune for the first time. Every time one of us pulled away the other was pulled back in. It wasn’t enough and for a reckless moment I’d forgotten the very high moral standard I’d set myself to, and let things get out of hand in that dark corner of the warehouse.
Afterwards she’d forgotten the oleander in her rush to get back to Rochester. We exchanged a quick more permanent goodbye and left it there.
---
Aunt and Unle were glad to have me home on the farm as far as I could tell. We were without electricity periodically as everyday expenses took precedent. Emile made a point to send letters and call me at the library to make sure I kept up with my correspondence school.
Some nights after my shift, Emile and I had midnight dinners at a diner halfway between Chataqua and Ithaca. Often at these midnight dinners I’d noticed that Emile had lost some of his boundless energy--but I’d attributed it to overworking.
I fell into a routine of working the barley functioning farm, night shifts at the factory and hours doing college courses. I listened attentively to the services my Aunt gave, taking in her words and asking for forgiveness with ferocity of guilty sinner.
---
I was in my third year of the correspondence school when I was given the chance to take a handful of credits at a partner university. White Plains University was closer but I chose the University of Rochester even though Emile tried to dissuade me. It didn’t matter that I’d set my mind to it. Besides I doubted I’d see Clara on campus during the oddly timed Friday night classes non-traditional students took.
And I didn’t see her for the first few weeks.
However I’d started to linger during those late nights on campus. There was something prestigious and accomplished about a real college. There was hope in what happened within these walls. What a joy it must be to live here.
It was on one of those uneventful Friday evenings that Clara DeLune and I walked right into each other’s path. I hadn’t recognized her out of her uniform. She’s cut her hair to her shoulders and she was wearing more make up than what was allowed at Nightfall Academy.Her mind was somewhere else, she didn’t even see me and she was only half paying attention to the little girl whose hand she was holding. The little girl who was very clearly my daughter.
“Clara”, I’d said somehow. I hadn’t felt like I could speak. I felt like something slammed into me and I couldn’t breathe.
The closer she got the more tired I realized she looked. Gone was the bright smile from our Nightfall days. It was the first time I realized how fake the smile must have been. She shook her head and rolled her eyes.
“Did Emile tell you? He said he wouldn’t”, she said.
“Emile ?”, I said. Emile who sometimes said too much had said nothing at all. I’d later realize that Emile blamed himself for this, and despite the strange joy it bought him, he swore to never interfere in any students lives again. It seemed when he wasn’t having midnight dinners with me he was mentoring Clara.
“Clara”, I said, “Is this—“
“This is Rose”, Clara introduced the girl.
I swallowed hard.
“Rose ? Like War of the Roses ?”
“No.”, she said looking over at the girl who wasn’t paying attention, “like the Roses… in the warehouse.”
I shook my head. I hadn’t been able to smell roses for weeks without thinking of Clara
“Clara, you said…” I glanced over at Rose who was staring up at me, “This wouldn’t happen”
“I know. I was on birth control just encase Derek and I got back together. I was also taking medicine for migraines and I guess it didn’t mix.”
I guessed Clara DeLune was over car metaphors.
“Clara, I want to help.”
“I’m fine”, she said, “Emile told me how thing are with your aunt and uncle. So really, don’t worry about it.”
“Where are you living?” I ask because I couldn’t just walk away. She bit her lip and looked past me.
“I was living at home and commuting. But my dad and I have been fighting a lot this year, so they got me a condo downtown for my birthday. I have a nanny, but she called out today so I talked to my professor and he said I could bring Rose to class..but she woke up and she was so fussy... this has never happened before. We’re fine.”
“Clara—“
“My family isn’t like yours. They support me. I am fine. From what I’ve heard you’re the one who is not fine.”
“She’s my daughter, Clara.”
“When are you going to have time for her ? Between the farm, and working and school ? Emile told me how much those people depend on you.”
“I’ll make time for family. They are not my family but she is.”, and she was. And watching her walk in lazy circle around Clara made everything bleak about my world that much brighter. There was hope that I could be something better.
Clara toyed with her keys, a Range Rover key laid neatly on top of the BMW. I held out my hand to the girl and Clara prompted her to take it. Rose’s hand fit perfectly in mine.
“I can take her home so you can go back to class. You can trust me, Clara.”
She thought on it and then scribbled down the address. She readjusted the heavy book bag and kneeled down to Rose.
“Um, Rose. Fierro is going to take you home. He’s… your father just like all the dads we read in those books. So, Please be nice.”
Rose nodded and I expected her to cry or resist but she didn’t. I expected Clara to kiss her or have a hard time letting her go, instead Clara hurried back to class.
Clara DeLune’s condo was like walking into a different world. The cozy post-war downtown two bedroom condo was extremely lived in. She had all leather furniture, stainless steel appliances, large televisions, an exposed brick wall and tasteful decorations. It was also filled with a lot of unorganized things. Unpacked shopping and grocery bags where on the floor, CDs and records littered every surface. She even had a baby grand piano wedged into the living room along with countless music books, coloring books, toys, clothes, textbooks and shoes.
Rose had gotten tired on the walk back and she’d asked me to hold her. She was a little over three years old and was so beautiful so perfect she didn’t seem real. I set her down and she gave me a very broad tour of her home.
“This can be your house too.”, she had said very practically but I never believed it would be.
-9-
Rose was an easy child to warm up to, something that had been difficult for Clara as she was always so busy with her intense music program. Rose was quiet but inquisitive child. I spent the late hours after my class watching her so Clara could go to her late class. Then I was there when I didn’t have class so Clara could get her studio hours in. Rose was curious and always asked what I working on and couldn’t wait to learn to read.
I’d kept my Aunt and Uncle in the dark about it all. I knew
they would kick me out of their home or find some over the top punishment. There
was no point so I never even tried to explain.
As the semester went on I spent every afternoon and evening in Rochester watching Rose and studying. Clara whirled in and out on her way to a classes and seminars. She had an oversized kitchen table perfect for studying. On days she didn’t have class we could spread out our books like on the fourth floor of the Nightfall academy library. That smile returning to her face whenever she figured out a composition or was writing an arrangement.
Without a nanny who would report back to her parents, Clara could stay out late on Fridays and make up for all the socializing she’d missed. I’d sleep on the recliner in Rose’s room or find space on the couch. Some nights I stayed over even when Clara wasn’t out. We could order dinner and stay up all night studying together until we crashed, drinking coffee and moving from the living room to the kitchen and later her bedroom during finals with a few pillows between us. After a while the pillows were tossed along with the textbooks and we weren’t getting much studying or sleeping done.
---
Clara graduated a semester early and took an internship abroad. It was an amazing opportunity and Rose and I had to let her go for awhile. I moved into Clara’s with just my school books and a single trunk to be with Rose. It was much to the chagrin of my aunt and uncle. The state of their house and health continued to deteriorate, but I had to let them go. Clara selflessly set aside a large amount of her trust fund to be paid to them in monthly increments and I cut off all communication.
Something was missing without Clara, she bought a brightness with her that Rose and I seemed to need. I missed her humming when we walked to get dinner, the music she played when she cleaned and the way she’d force Rose to sit on the couch and read with her before bed.
Clara came back from Austria after a year ready to start graduate school at Yale. As expected she took Rose to Connecticut with her. It was difficult to only have weekends with my daughter. To miss her first day of school and be so far away. I’d moved to Ithaca to begin graduate school and moved back in with Emile. It was as if Emile and I hadn’t missed a beat from the old days. The minute Nightfall academy lost a teacher, Emile made sure I interviewed with the dean the very next day. Emile pulled for me and I had the job by the end of the summer.
Whenever Clara came home to Rochester for holidays I took the train down to see her. She liked hearing how it felt being a peer among those who’d been my teachers just a few years prior. Only once had I’d taken Rose to Chataqua. My aunt started calling her the same devilish name she’d called me. After that I promised never to set foot there again.
---
My classroom at Nightfall Academy became my refugee. I only occasionally felt
the impulse to pair up diverging minds like Emile had done so gleefully back
then, but I restrained myself. Or at least I tried. I took on the debate team,
academic advising and the academic triathlon to bide my time. Each week I looked forward to my meager
salary to get me to Connecticut to see Rose.
Clara wandered for a bit after finishing Yale. She worked in school administration before trying her hand at music management. When she was accepted to the doctorates program at Cornell University she packed up and moved to the northern edge of Ithaca.
She bought a house in an older neighborhood just outside of a bustling suburb. The neighborhood was made of grand old Victorian homes that would need a lot of work or in Clara DeLune’s case just enough money. Money she had after the tragic death of her father that left her with a 100 million dollar inheritance.
“Why in the world would you want to live all the way out here? Emile’s neighborhood is much closer to Cornell.” I’d said during my first visit. I took in the view of the sun rising over neighborhood from the unstable balcony off her bedroom.
“I don’t know how you can stand it”, she said reading through her prospectus one last time, she must have been up all night, “living so close to Nightfall? Doesn’t it bring up no so pleasant memories?”
“You are one to speak. You were the smart, popular spring formal queen.”
“Yes and I wore those stupid red bows. I was always smiling to hide how much I wanted to scream, Derek was such a jerk and my parent’s fighting gave me all those migraines and I had a huge crush on you and I never did anything about it.”
“The campus is always changing. I never think of my time there. I’ve learned to focus on the present.”
She grabbed a red pen and clipped together her paper. There was a weariness in Clara’s eyes, she was more introspective and had less inhibition. Age does that to you I suppose.
“Here”, she said giving me the pages, “35 pages on the influence of Gershwin on modern day orchestral composition. Grade it. Tell me what you think. Be honest. Treat me like one of your students.”
“The subject is a little beyond me, Clara.”
“Do you call your students by their first names? I thought that wasn’t allowed.”
“That is—the subject is beyond me, Miss. DeLune.” For some reason that smile she claims wasn’t real manages to shine through.
“I’d really appreciate some notes, Mr. Fierro. Please read it.”
I took the pen and after the first line I stopped reading
Will you marry me?
+10+
.
For the first time in ten years Clara DeLune set foot on Nightfall Academy’s campus. I’d like to think it wasn’t just because of the reunion, but because I’d asked her. Rose was so fascinated by the school that she didn’t notice the looks she got from our former teachers and classmate who were seeing her for the first time.
“It’s so ridiculous that he’s even here”, Clara says waiving to the cluster of women who called out to her as we walk past, “I mean Derek was a year behind me.”
“He’s a founding family”, I remind her having had the pleasure of teaching a generation of Locke cousins. I’d nearly lost my job refusing to offer them “enrichment”
Clara slids her hand in mine and leads me up the street to
where Derek’s car is illegally parked. We pass another group of our former
classmates vying for Clara’s attention but she is focused on that car.
“Look there it is”, she runs over and opens the door to Derek’s high school car, “Come on. Rose can sit in the back.”
“I don’t think so.” I say but Clara was already in the passenger seat.
I hear a whistle and Clara covers her ears. Emile let the metal whistle fall from his mouth. He’d been given the task of directing traffic. Something reserved for teachers who weren’t alumni or related to alumni.
“I believe the faculty are wanted in the main hall for the commendation ceremony as well as members of founding families”, Emile saye pointedly to Clara.
“Right”, Clara sayw hopping out of the car. She holds out her hand for Rose to take and then whispers in my ear, “We could have been gone by now.”
“I actually want to attend the ceremony, there are a few students who I promised I’d be there to present awards too.”
Clara smiles for me, “You make me like this place.”
“You made me like this place.” I tell her.
Rose drags Clara down the sidewalk, excited to show her mother that she already knew the way to the auditorium.
“Emile”, I remember, “While we are alone I have something for you.”
I take the envelope that had felt like a weight in my pocket and give it to him. Emile opens the envelope and eyes the check.
“What’s this?” He asked staring at the check.
“It’s the money for my tuition you paid for … and the suit. I’ve been saving, but most of that is from Clara selling her condo.”
“Fierro, No.”
“Why not? I owe you. After everything you’ve done for me. You said I could pay you back.”
Emile slung his arm around me as we head in step toward the auditorium.
“You already did.”
“Emile”, I say because I had not.
“Look knowing that pushing you and Clara together worked out for the best and seeing you happy with a family you love is more than enough. It’s all the return on my investment I needed.”
“So you don’t want the check ?”
He pocketed it.
“Well I’m not stupid”
The End
Author’s Note
So this was fun for me. The story had originally ended at the reunion but I suddenly had these little flashes of how the characters got there that I just had to share. I’ve been messing with these characters a bit on the side so I feel personality wise this is very cannon.
I also tried to make the setting timeless, which is why I never mention computers, cell phone or printers.
In my other Crack!fic I also made Fierro an education professional because he really likes learning and I think it’s be a good career for him.