Bodcia - Enya
+1+
I had been in police custody for what felt like hours. The
drive down to the Rochester precinct had been quiet although I was to grief
stricken to try and make conversation. Somehow I was glad I'd missed the funeral.I don't think I would have been that strong.
The police, or more notably Detective Rainer,had locked me away in an interrogation room. Ever so often I could hear someone murmuring behind the doors. I suppose I was free to leave but I didn’t want to, something . . . guilt maybe was keeping me there.
The interrogation room was actually lovely. It wasn’t like
it was on television the seats were comfortable and I felt more as if I were in
a job interview. I kept my eyes on my black painted nails gently tapping them against the table.
After what must have been hours the door finally squeaked open and Detective Rainer walked in, her guns still on to intimidate me.
“Clara”, she walked around the edge of the table, “Tell us about your father”
She said us and I looked up to see at the camera in the corner of the room. I pursed my lips before speaking.
“He was a good man, I wish I could have said good-bye at the funeral but I was interrupted. Was it really necessary to come for me int the middle of his--”
“Clara we know your father was poisoned”
“No. . .he died of a heart attack—“
“So you had us believe”, she said, “we’ll have more information once the tox screens come back.”
“Are you accusing me of murdering my father ?”
“Let’s say you're person of interest”
“Why me?”
I kept expecting her to sit down across from me but instead she pulled up a chair right next to me. I kept looking ahead trying not to meet her gaze.
“Well”, she said moving closer, “ I’m thinking it has something to do with your daughter.”
My gaze was now heavily trained on my hands, my lips trembled slightly as I spoke to the detective.
“I don’t have a daughter, Detective Rainer”
I wonder if she could tell that my heart had skipped a beat.
“Really ?”, Rainer asked but it wasn’t really a question.
“Ask anyone who knows me, family, friends or colleagues.”
She didn’t seem impressed and moved her chair in closer.
“Where is she Clara ? did you kill her too ?”
“ I don’t have a daughter”. my words sounded restrained.
She rolled back in her chair and knocked on the door.
“That’s not what she told us,”
“Who ?”
Rainer motioned to someone outside and the door opened. A man in a blue uniform entered this time he had a teenage girl with him. She looked to be about seventeen she had stunning green eyes and cropped brown hair. She was dressed in jeans and a checkered hoodie. I certainly didn’t recognize her.
The girl looked nervous, She had a large white notepad in her hands.
Was she one of my students ?
“Who are you?”, I asked
“My name is Juliet Wakefield”, Juliet answered taking a seat.
“Juliet told us that your father was murdered.”, Rainer said matter-of-factly
“How could you possibly know that. . . he was alone when it happened. . . the heart attack that is”
Juliet propped a sketch book on her knees and began running her pencil across it as if she hadn't even heard me. I felt drawn to look at her even though I’ d didn’t want to .
“He told me”, Juliet answered
“Who is he ?”
“Your father. He told me it wasn't an accident. . . he told me he was murdered.”
+++
She was a psychic.
Or that is what Rainer would have me believe. They left me in the room alone with Juliet for an hour. She didn’t say anything except she was trying to “read” the signs around me, and even then there didn't appear to be anything remarkable about her. She seemed like a regular teenager.
After a while I began to want to understand her.
“A psychic.. . so can you tell me my future”, I humored her
“No”, Juliet said, “It' not really like that it's like, I have extrasensory perception. I can see so many things that people are blind too. I can't read the livings future . . .but there is something different about you."
“Um, So”, I said, “my father talks to you ? talking to the
dead. . . that’s absurd.”, I laughed nervously
“He doesn’t really talk to me. sometimes I can hear bits and pieces of him. Like he is temporarily passing through. I’m trying to make a connection I guess, I intercepted him.For some reason the dead's minds are easier to precieve..”
“And the police believe you ?”
“Yes, I’ve helped them before.. . you sound familiar though. It’s like I’ve heard you before.”
“So, my father told you I killed him ?”, I wanted to know what she knew.
“No he never said who did it--”
At that moment Rainer walked in and disrupted us. That was one detail Juliet was not supposed to tell me. Rainer leaned over the table deep with determination.
“Clara what did you do with your daughter? “, she slammed
her hand on the table for emphasis, "Why did you kill your father ?":
“I told you I don’t have a daughter ”
“Juliet, please show her the drawing”, Rainer said as if she were putting the final nail in the coffin.
“I don’t know how accurate it is”, Said Juliet, “I only saw the face in his mind for a moment”
Julie took the notepad clenched in her hands and slid the notepad over to me, I flipped a page
over and saw a black and white drawing of a little girl, she had large light-tinted eyes and a solemn
listless expression that made my heart hurt. I looked but not for to long. .
“Look at her.Is she why you killed Martin.”, Rainer’s voice
was soft, "what secrets are you hiding"
“Is this your only proof?”, I said tentatively placing the paper down, “a drawing”
Rainer backed herself into a corner as an officer escorted Juliet out. We both sort of looked each other up for a while till I decided to speak.
“I suppose I can go now”, I said calmly. I was actually happy for her frustration, “You don’t seem to have any reason to keep me here... unless I'm under arrest ?“
“Go”, she said though it was more of a command.
I slid my heavy winter coat on as I made it to the front desk. I was aware that Rainer was following me but I remained calm.
It was just past seven and I had missed the burial and left my mother to deal with the aftermath alone. I took comfort in knowing my sisters were at least with her.
I signed the paperwork Rainer watching me as I did so, as if I would up and confess under her glare.
Not likely.
“I know you are hiding something”, Rainer whispered.
“I’m not hiding anything, Detective. And if I might add how is Rochester your jurisdiction”
“Martin was found in New York City, that makes it my case. Besides this is also a personal favor. Family friend in all.”
“Well then I hope you find out who did this”
I turned to walk down the hall when I heard her voice behind me.
“Everyone thinks you are innocent, that you can do no wrong. Especially considering you were kidnapped all those years ago. But you aren’t are you? Innocent I mean.”
I walked back over to her standing probably a little more closely than I should.
“I’ve told you a million time Detective Rainer. All I
remember is falling asleep and waking up in my grandfather’s house. Thank you
for bringing up such terrible memories on the day of my father’s funeral.”, I
looked at my watch,
“Just because you’re rich doesn’t mean you’ll getaway with this.”
I looked away and smiled at her comment. Did she really think it was that simple ?
“Good night, Detective”
+++
All of this past
I didn’t know what to expect to find at home as I traveled the dark wintry night roads. Home was a tentative word anyway since I had been living with my older sister Clarice and her husband for the better part of six months.
I turned into the long drive way, happy to see only a few cars were parked close by. While we were at the funeral the staff had already begun to decorate the outside of the house for Christmas. Lights were already strung by the cottage style mansion, red bows fastened on every window. I kept my head down as the last of the mourners departed.
Colin, Clarice’s usually jovial husband greeted me at the
door. His horn- rimmed glasses slipped down his nose as he ran his hand over his
quickly receding hairline.We exchanged a silent glance as I entered. Colin was older than me and I knew he saw me as his wife’s troublesome little
sister. His major software and virus protection company also made him think he was smarter than me.
He had graciously allowed me to stay with them till I got back on my feet but the truth was I was waiting to get the strength to leave.
Trays of food were being cleaned up, the house returning to it's previous state.
“Clara”, My sister shouted as she embraced me, “ Are you alright ? Mother told us not to worry that Ms. Rainer would make sure you were okay “
“I’m fine”
“I wish Father were here, he would know how to ---“, she stopped mid-sentence overcome with grief and I lead her to the couch.
“It’s alright”, I put an arm around her.
“All day I kept wish I could take back everything that happened at Thanksgiving.”
“I thought we all agreed to not talk about that anymore. . . it’s very important that we keep that between us.”
She nodded and Colin joined us not liking the idea of us whispering to one another
“Is it true, Clara”, Colin asked, “have the police confirmed Martin was murdered”
“They told me he was poisoned”
Colin shifted closer to Clarice. Even though she was the
middle sister she never took a liking as the middle child. Claudia and I were the talented ones and Clarice it seemed manage to just get by.Father knew this and
as a result they had been very close. I'd been avoiding her for this very reason I knew she would never be the same now.
The three of us sat on the couch unit late into the night. I asked about mother and they assured me my eldest sister Claudia and her family was with her. We had each made sure she was never alone in the big house. If things permitted I considered moving back in.
Mother was in no position to raise my energetic five year old brother alone.
I was the first to leave from the living room. I took the stairs slowly one at a time till I reached the top. I watched as Colin re-lit the fire and wrapped his arms around his wife. He took such good care of my sister.
I had become quiet comfortable in the upstairs guest room. That is to say the room was a disaster covered in ungraded papers, books, compositions and cds. I dug into the back of my closet and quietly began packing.
There was a soft knock at the door and I saw my seven year old niece Audrey hiding behind the door. It was way past her bed time and she was still wearing her white dress from the funeral. She dragged her stocking feet across the carpet.
Audrey was not her given name but when Clarice adopted her she had it changed. She had always wanted to name her children after old Hollywood. Which meant Audrey’s 2 year old sister would forever live with the name Carey-Grant.
“Are you okay ?”, I asked her.
She sulked over to me and i knew she wasn't. I was just glad that Clarice thought it wise not to have her at the funeral or she would have known I had been arrested.
“Everybody's so sad, Aunt Clara. I wish it would stop”, she said
“I know it’s because they miss Grandpa. . . don’t you ?”
She nodded, “I miss him coming over for dinner and sneaking me presents”, she said with a giggle.
“Of course”, I said more to myself, “It will pass though, I promise”
She hugged me and wandered around my room while I continued packing. My mind was going to a hundred different places I could barely concentrate on what I was going
“I know her”, Audrey said breaking my thoughts.
She had picked up Juliet’s drawing of the wide eyed girl. I remembered seeing Detective Rainer pick it up before I left. Had she placed it in my bag ? I watched Audrey’s face carefully as she looked at the picture.
“You do ?”
“I think so”, she said, “but from far away. . . I think”
“Don’t think to hard on it”, I said playfully taking it from her, “Why don’t you go to bed.”
“Are leaving too Aunt Clara ?”
“No, honey. Just go to bed. I’ll be back before you know it.”
"Do you have to ? You're my favorite aunt you know."
"Good to know"
We exchanged good nights and I pulled my one piece of luggage into the hallway and knocked on my sister’s bedroom door. I was relived when Clarice opened it.
“Clarice I need a favor”
“Why ? What’s going on Clara.”, she said meekly
“It’s nothing. . . I just need to borrow your passport”
“Clara where are you going ? Are you running away ?”
“No, I just don’t need detective Rainer knowing I’m leaving. I swear I’m not running. It’s times like these when we need to trust each other. There is something I need to do.”
She looked at me hesitantly. Although she was two years older than me Clarice and I could have been twins before my accident. When I was in college she would often let me borrow her id so I could get into bars.
“Don’t tell Colin”, she said, “I don’t think he trust you right now”
“I don’t exaclty trust him either”
She silently shut the door and brought back her passport. I could tell how uncomfortable she was but I relied on Clarice’s meekness to much sometimes.
“Remember what father would say ? The only truth is the one we make for ourselves.”
“I remember.”, she said
We hugged and silently departed.
I promised myself I wouldn't just leave again, but before this was over I had to make my own truth.
Even if I had to lie to get it.