+1+
It started to rain when I arrived in London, I stepped out the cab and took my time getting inside of the hotel. I I had grown so use to the predictable weather in Ireland. The dreary London streets however seemed to be an ideal location for a man as evasive as Essex.
I checked into the hotel and went back to tip the cab driver but he had driven off.
I removed my hat and coat and followed the door man upstairs, he looked suspiciously at the warn state my luggage however the large tip I gave him made him overly attentive. The suite was very specific it had large windows, a kitchen and bedroom, one of the nicer hotels I had stayed in since leaving New York.
That evening I had driven all night to Dublin, I kept expecting some obstacle to stop me. A part of me perhaps wanted something to stop me. Never had I allowed it to cross my mind that Essex would not be able to help me. For as long as I couldn't find him the longer I could hope. Surely wishing and hoping were rational.
I enjoyed the silence of the room, real solitude it had been a while since I had been truly alone.
I had never been to London, I didn’t feel much like sightseeing. As I was on a mission so to speak.
I began to wonder what I would finally say to Mr. Essex ? I imagine he would want to know about his friends in India. Or maybe he already knew.
Perhaps I should see what he knows first. Maybe he believes he can talk to the dead. Or worst the dead talk to him. It wasn’t as if there were rules to being a Specters. If people didn’t think him to be insane they could actually learn something.
The pounding rain made it difficult to put my thoughts together so I abandoned it all together. I found a map and began to carefully sort out the best directions to the bookstore. I was tempted to walk by first but the weather was intolerable.
The city was bleak and I wanted to be indifferent to it all.
I reached for the telephone against the wall and dialed Emile, hearing his voice for the first time in years.
"Hello ?", he was as always cheerful.
"Emile, it's me"
"Fierro,It's good to hear your voice--wait are you calling from London ?"
"Yes,I am not here permanently though."
"You should go to King's College.", he said abruptly
"Emile, I'm not here to sight see."
"I highly suggest it."
"I'll make time then--"
"Make time ? Just do it now."
"Emile--"
"Trust me", he said hanging up.
My eyes fell back to the map. King's College wasn't that far from the hotel. The daily rain had been reduced to a light drizzle and I knew if anyone I could trust Emile. I found an umbrella and simply resorted to walking by the time I made it to to the college the sun had already gone down. I didn't find anything particularity interesting about the buildings or the architecture.
I walked back and forth on the embankment wondering if perhaps I was meant to look for something. I watched the Thames flow for a while, attempting to remember what I knew about it.
I turned to leave when I thought I heard someone call my name.
I convinced myself I had misheard.
"Wait", the voice was closer now and I recognized it as Emile's.
He jogged up to me from around the corner, he had not changed a bit since the last time I saw. He reached me fully out of breathe.
"What brings you here", I asked
"Work", he said, "And you ?"
I considered if I should tell him the truth. Emile's life had gone on well all these years. I would not burden him with such dark thoughts.
"A little of everything", I said.
"I'm giving a lecture tomorrow, you should come."
"I will", I said., "Emile. I must say. . . it is good to see you."
"I'd almost thought you'd fallen off the side of the earth."
"Hardly, though have been doing a lot of thinking"
"How long are you in town"
"I can't say I have the answer... not long."
He was hesitant about his next question, but I expected it.
"And Lucie still follows you ?"
"I suppose that is a way to say it. Though I am alone now."
We were both silent when he finally spoke again.
"What about Victor"
"Victor ?", I had yet to think of him in years, "No. I'd imagine he is off causing trouble somewhere else."
"The same trouble as Lucie"
"Emile, we don't know what it is like to be them--"
"It's her nature", he said, "Their nature to cause chaos, that everyone knows for sure."
"Then why is the whole world not in complete chaos ? Why is there not turmoil and pain everywhere."
"Isn't there ?", he said, "For how much good in this world is their evil ?"
"I refuse to judge her as so."
"I suppose I can't stop you"
He moved away from the embankment turning towards where he had come.
"Well", he said . "I should get ready for tomorrow. Please be on time and we need to talk afterward. Good Night"
"Good-night"
He appeared to be in a hurry to leave, ever so often turning back before he disappeared around the corner.
+2+
I found my way back to the hotel and contemplated going back to my room. My conversation with Emile reminded me of the unknown and dark information I was seeking. Had I not caused enough people their lives ?
I headed for the elevator when a voice stopped me.
“Sir, the elevator is broken”
The man at the front desk pointed to the stairs and then went back to his reading.
The flight of stairs to the fourth floor began to look daunting.
I knew I shouldn’t frequent a place like a hotel bar.
However, to be honest I didn’t care.